Saturday, January 22, 2011

No God Would Allow This Post To Happen

Today's Failbook fail: I'd Like to Think It's "Jumanji."

Someone wonders in their status what name atheists call out in bed. (As an atheist with a sex life, let me answer this burning question once and for all. Many of us do still say "god" in that situation, as well as others: "God, it's freezing in here"; "Just shut the door, for god's sake!"; "Oh my god"; etc. It doesn't mean we secretly believe in a deity. It means we use that syllable as an exclamation because it's so common in the English-speaking world.)

Anyway, back to the fail. A jackass replies, "Mine." (Ha. Um. Ha ha. Yes, we all call your name, rando.) Then the original posters says, "I said Atheists. Not High Park Homeless."

Eesh, wow, that some serious classism right there, in that the OP is clearly trying to insult the commenter by insinuating s/he has sex with homeless people.

But the response from the commenter is breathtaking it its horror: "What's the difference? By the time I'm finished with them they don't believe in a loving god any more [sic] anyway."

WHAAAAAAAAT. First of all, first of all, this comment is the end of the post! Meaning that THIS is the "joke" that Failbook thinks is so damn funny that it deserves to be posted! THE FACT THAT THE COMMENTER IS JOKING ABOUT RAPING HOMELESS PEOPLE. THAT IS THE "JOKE." THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH DISDAINFUL QUOTATION MARKS IN THE WORLD TO PUT AROUND THE WORD "JOKE."

Secondly, let's revisit the fact that this person just straight-up said, "I rape homeless people!" If you truly believe that this is not what this "joke" is about, you are deluded beyond my ability to yell the truth into your ear. This is the commenter's idea of a one-up. The OP insulted him/her by saying, "You have sex with homeless people." The commenter one-ups the OP by saying, "You mean I rape homeless people."

For some reason, although if the actual messages made up the post, it would rightfully be seen as horrifying, veiled statements that convey the exact same message are . . . hilarious? Supposedly? To their (small) credit, the commenters on the Failbook post seem just as mystified as I am. When even the rape-loving commenters at Failbook think you've gone off the rails, you've gone off the fucking rails, Failbook.

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