Today's Failbook fail: Keep Your Friends Close...
Our fail on this lovely Saturday evening involves "Pedobear," the pedophile bear invented by a group of dudes who spend too much time on web bulletin boards.
The joke is that someone using the Pedobear avatar has "liked" the Maryland AMBER Alert Program. So, some jackass who treats the rape of children as a joke is also trivializing police efforts to save kids who have been abducted.
You're right, Failbook. That is hilarious. I'm going to laugh for a long time, after the bleakness of the whole idea of someone inventing a cartoon pedophile bear dissipates. Should only be, oh, ten, twelve years, tops.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
Gay Fatherhood Fail
Today's Failbook fail: John's Going to Be a Father!
It's tough to know the circumstances of this one. Is John gay and partnered, and they're adopting a kid? Or is John straight, and his "friends" believe that the best way to insult a man is to insinuate he's gay?
In any case, there's a multitude of fail here, but the last comment really takes the failcake: "I believed you, I was just shocked it didn't say mother."
In case you're not up on the theory of homophobia, it is generally accepted by Queer Studies scholars that homophobia is born of misogyny. Men putting themselves in the "feminine" position of being the non-penetrative partner in intercourse means that men are lowering themselves to a woman's status. We see this all the time in homophobic discourse, and Colin's comment is a perfect example. Because John is gay (or, at least, that's the narrative his "friends" are going with), he is therefore a woman. And this is not a good thing.
It's tough to know the circumstances of this one. Is John gay and partnered, and they're adopting a kid? Or is John straight, and his "friends" believe that the best way to insult a man is to insinuate he's gay?
In any case, there's a multitude of fail here, but the last comment really takes the failcake: "I believed you, I was just shocked it didn't say mother."
In case you're not up on the theory of homophobia, it is generally accepted by Queer Studies scholars that homophobia is born of misogyny. Men putting themselves in the "feminine" position of being the non-penetrative partner in intercourse means that men are lowering themselves to a woman's status. We see this all the time in homophobic discourse, and Colin's comment is a perfect example. Because John is gay (or, at least, that's the narrative his "friends" are going with), he is therefore a woman. And this is not a good thing.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Fictional Fail
Today's Failbook fail: Defending Ginny's Honor.
The best thing to be said about this post is that it is not real. Obviously.
But everything else to be said about it is full of fail. At least the part with "Ron" is somewhat in character, but then it goes off the rails. "Voldemort" says something so ridiculous I'm not bothering to transcribe, but it describes Ginny's vagina as being extremely commodious, thanks to her sluttiness.
Okay, yes, I get it -- Voldemort is evil, he's just being his evil self. But it's telling that of all the ways this humor writer could think of to have Voldie insult Ginny, a remark about her sluttiness is the way he goes. (Let's get real, it's probably a he.) Ginny is the one female character in the Harry Potter series who displays sexual agency, so fuck yeah, let's make some gross jokes about her cunt! WOOOOO!!!
Next "Lucius" chimes in to agree (wha?) and Harry goes apeshit. Then, in possibly the subtlest fail of the post, he calls Voldemort a "twat."
The vagina: even when you're defending it, it's still a slur.
The best thing to be said about this post is that it is not real. Obviously.
But everything else to be said about it is full of fail. At least the part with "Ron" is somewhat in character, but then it goes off the rails. "Voldemort" says something so ridiculous I'm not bothering to transcribe, but it describes Ginny's vagina as being extremely commodious, thanks to her sluttiness.
Okay, yes, I get it -- Voldemort is evil, he's just being his evil self. But it's telling that of all the ways this humor writer could think of to have Voldie insult Ginny, a remark about her sluttiness is the way he goes. (Let's get real, it's probably a he.) Ginny is the one female character in the Harry Potter series who displays sexual agency, so fuck yeah, let's make some gross jokes about her cunt! WOOOOO!!!
Next "Lucius" chimes in to agree (wha?) and Harry goes apeshit. Then, in possibly the subtlest fail of the post, he calls Voldemort a "twat."
The vagina: even when you're defending it, it's still a slur.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
No fail!
Surprisingly, January 12th didn't have any notable Failbook fails. May there be many days like it to come.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Foreign Slurs Are Still Slurs
Today's Failbook fail: Network Names.
As is pretty common with Failbook fails, the real fail comes not in the status message itself, but in the comments. The original status message is some funny thing about a wireless network named "ILOVEBALLS." I actually have quite a soft spot for the original message, since our next-door neighbors have a network called "Hail-Satan."
But then some jackass has to comment and ruin everything, of course: "I changed mine to 'Police Surveillance Van 2' - keep the pikeys next door on there [sic] toes : )"
Are you unfamiliar with the word "pikey"? I was, too. But I had the sinking feeling it would turn out to be a word I would never want to use.
Lo and behold, I was right: according to Wikipedia, "Pikey is a pejorative slang term used mainly in the United Kingdom to refer to Irish Travellers, gypsies or people of low social class."
I'm sure most Americans have heard of gypsies, who I believe preferred to be called Roma, but I had never heard of Irish Travellers! One click on Wikipedia gave me this money quote: "The European Parliament Committee of Enquiry on Racism and Xenophobia found them to be amongst the most discriminated-against ethnic groups in Ireland and yet their status remains insecure in the absence of widespread legal endorsement."
Thanks for adding a nice little teaspoon of discrimination to the mountains' worth they're already enduring, Failbook.
As is pretty common with Failbook fails, the real fail comes not in the status message itself, but in the comments. The original status message is some funny thing about a wireless network named "ILOVEBALLS." I actually have quite a soft spot for the original message, since our next-door neighbors have a network called "Hail-Satan."
But then some jackass has to comment and ruin everything, of course: "I changed mine to 'Police Surveillance Van 2' - keep the pikeys next door on there [sic] toes : )"
Are you unfamiliar with the word "pikey"? I was, too. But I had the sinking feeling it would turn out to be a word I would never want to use.
Lo and behold, I was right: according to Wikipedia, "Pikey is a pejorative slang term used mainly in the United Kingdom to refer to Irish Travellers, gypsies or people of low social class."
I'm sure most Americans have heard of gypsies, who I believe preferred to be called Roma, but I had never heard of Irish Travellers! One click on Wikipedia gave me this money quote: "The European Parliament Committee of Enquiry on Racism and Xenophobia found them to be amongst the most discriminated-against ethnic groups in Ireland and yet their status remains insecure in the absence of widespread legal endorsement."
Thanks for adding a nice little teaspoon of discrimination to the mountains' worth they're already enduring, Failbook.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Pop Star Fail
Today's Failbook Fail: Rough Night.
Some guy mentions Ke$ha, and then a bunch of men make asshole comments about how 1) she is overrated (okay, I guess that's fair, if you don't dig her style), 2) she is a drunken slut (oh, now, wait just a sec . . .), 3) she is a totally dirty slut (come on, fellas), and 4) she is a fat drug-addicted slut (okay, shut it down, jackasses!)
For some reason we subject female pop stars to the most intense scrutiny and ridicule regarding their sexual lives. Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, Lady Gaga, Madonna -- I'm mixing my eras here, I know, but as soon as a woman has enormous success in the music business, all of a sudden we have a burning desire to critique anything to do with her vagina. It fucking baffles me.
Some guy mentions Ke$ha, and then a bunch of men make asshole comments about how 1) she is overrated (okay, I guess that's fair, if you don't dig her style), 2) she is a drunken slut (oh, now, wait just a sec . . .), 3) she is a totally dirty slut (come on, fellas), and 4) she is a fat drug-addicted slut (okay, shut it down, jackasses!)
For some reason we subject female pop stars to the most intense scrutiny and ridicule regarding their sexual lives. Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, Lady Gaga, Madonna -- I'm mixing my eras here, I know, but as soon as a woman has enormous success in the music business, all of a sudden we have a burning desire to critique anything to do with her vagina. It fucking baffles me.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
The Ablist Usage That Will Not Die
Today's Failbook fail: Please Stop.
Someone can't type, so someone replies and likens their typing to that of a "retarded squirrel."
As a diehard language prescriptivist, I agree that this sort of typing needs to be smacked down hard. But there's no need to be ablist while doing the smacking. I think "uneducated squirrel" has the same comedic impact, but without insulting the developmentally disabled.
Someone can't type, so someone replies and likens their typing to that of a "retarded squirrel."
As a diehard language prescriptivist, I agree that this sort of typing needs to be smacked down hard. But there's no need to be ablist while doing the smacking. I think "uneducated squirrel" has the same comedic impact, but without insulting the developmentally disabled.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Treat Girls Like Human Beings
Today's Failbook fail: Treat Girls How?
Oh man. With a title like that, you know we've got a winner.
It starts when a woman, frustrated by the way she (or maybe a friend) is being treated by the men in her life, exhorts her male readers to "treat girls the way you treat your blunts and video games."
All right, so she's no Abigail Adams. But her meaning is clear: the men she knows treasure their material possessions more than their romantic partners. Perhaps it's a simple matter of how much time is spent with girlfriends vice playing video games and smoking up; perhaps there are other considerations.
Then the men she knows flock to comment, all saying variants of, "Really, you want us to treat you as disposable?"
Yes, that's clearly what she meant. Oh, wait, no it's not, and you're just proving her point. Bravo, sirs.
Oh man. With a title like that, you know we've got a winner.
It starts when a woman, frustrated by the way she (or maybe a friend) is being treated by the men in her life, exhorts her male readers to "treat girls the way you treat your blunts and video games."
All right, so she's no Abigail Adams. But her meaning is clear: the men she knows treasure their material possessions more than their romantic partners. Perhaps it's a simple matter of how much time is spent with girlfriends vice playing video games and smoking up; perhaps there are other considerations.
Then the men she knows flock to comment, all saying variants of, "Really, you want us to treat you as disposable?"
Yes, that's clearly what she meant. Oh, wait, no it's not, and you're just proving her point. Bravo, sirs.
Friday, January 7, 2011
I'll See Your Self-Hatred and Raise You My Body Policing
Today's Failbook fail: Resolution Support FAIL.
A woman thinks she is fat! Her father concurs! The woman is upset!
Ha ha ha ha, I'm wiping the tears from my eyes, OMG you guys, this is so edgy and hilarious, we have to get it on Failbook!! SHE'S FAT!! Do you get it?!?!? FAAAAT. AND HER FATHER IS ALL, "YEAH YOU ARE." Do you get it?????? He's supposed to be one of the very few people in the world who loves her unconditionally, one of the tiny number of souls on Earth who are supposed to help her cut through the body hatred that her culture heaps upon her so that she can exist without hating her very self, BUT HE TOTALLY CALLED OUT HER BUTT FAT INSTEAD!!!! HILARIOUS!!!
A woman thinks she is fat! Her father concurs! The woman is upset!
Ha ha ha ha, I'm wiping the tears from my eyes, OMG you guys, this is so edgy and hilarious, we have to get it on Failbook!! SHE'S FAT!! Do you get it?!?!? FAAAAT. AND HER FATHER IS ALL, "YEAH YOU ARE." Do you get it?????? He's supposed to be one of the very few people in the world who loves her unconditionally, one of the tiny number of souls on Earth who are supposed to help her cut through the body hatred that her culture heaps upon her so that she can exist without hating her very self, BUT HE TOTALLY CALLED OUT HER BUTT FAT INSTEAD!!!! HILARIOUS!!!
Thursday, January 6, 2011
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