A Tale of Two Douchebags

Real dilemma tonight, guys. There are two posts on Failbook today that are both of the highest douchebag nature. One is just pure sexism; the other mixes sexism with the false sexuality binary and slut shaming.

Okay, how's this: I'm going to do the mixed one, and assign the pure sexism one as homework. I'll grade anyone who comments.

So. Today's Failbook fail: Try-Sexual.

This is a gem on so many levels. The original post is someone saying they don't "believe" in bisexuality. I love it when people think they have a vote on other people's lived experiences. It's like when jackass white people put down "human" as their race on forms. It's true that bisexuality doesn't seem to be as common an identity as being straight or gay, but I think it's more common than asexuality (which also exists, regardless of your willingness to "believe" in it, dear reader!)

Then a girl comments, saying she is bi, and has two girlfriends and a boyfriend. Now, while this does showcase her bisexuality, it's worth noting (for people who might be, I don't know, confused?) that bisexuality and polyamory are unrelated issues. I mean, they're related inasmuch as they threaten the patriarchy, but they're just two more slightly overlapping circles in the giant Venn diagram of human sexuality.

Still. A dude denies people's identities. A lady reminds him that it is her identity. What do you think is gonna happen next, smarty-pants?

If you said, "He's gonna slut-shame her!", I award you 50 Patriarchy Points!*

Yeah, he says, "That just makes you a whore." Yeah! You tell it like it is, bisexuality denier!! People having multiple consenting relationships definitely means they are sex workers! And also, sex workers are best referred to by epithets! You're so brave, telling it like it is in a sea of acceptance and friendliness towards women, sex workers, bisexuals, and poly people!

Here's an idea, dude: you're not the arbiter of others' sexuality. I know it's a shocker, but better to get it through your fucking head now than later, when you're screaming at some girlfriend because her "number" (ugh) is higher than you thought.

* Redeemable for male privilege at a Wal-Mart near you!