Today's Failbook fails: That Time Is Now and Roadside Assistance.
I was agonizing -- yes, dear readers, agonizing -- over which of these two piles of shit to deconstruct, and my dear fiancé said I should do a two-for-one deal, which I thought was fair, since I took the weekend off.
In the first, a father masquerades as his daughter on Facebook, saying that she has just found her boyfriend (husband?) in bed with another man, and so she is dumping him, because he is "so GAY." So, all right, it's hard to know what the father's intentions were here -- does he hate the boyfriend? Is it "good-natured ribbing"?
In any case, if a woman were to actually walk in on her significant other having sex with another man, I imagine the reaction would be more along the lines of, "You asshole! You cheated on me!" But no, the father just wanted to be like, "GAY GAY GAY, " so of course that's the faux reaction we get.
And then the daughter puts the crap cherry on this shit pie by saying her dad has "fraped" her. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. It's bad enough that this phrase makes light of rape -- must you add to it by implicating your own father?? It's as if she doesn't even see the word anymore, she uses it so casually.
The second steaming turd is all sexism, all the time. A woman expresses gratitude for the man who kindly stopped to help her change her tire. Men flock to the status to say dumb shit. "Hurr durr, it's because you have boobs. Hurr durr, if you were a man you'd change your own tire. Hurr durr, you didn't strip for him in gratitude?" A woman cannot even thank a man for his kindness without other men coming along, whipping out their dicks, and peeing all over the scene. Sexism: turning men into douchebags since THE DAWN OF TIME.
Showing posts with label rape culture. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rape culture. Show all posts
Monday, March 28, 2011
Saturday, March 19, 2011
All My Trains of Thought Go to Rapetown!
Today's Failbook fail: Untitled.
I know I've neglected this blog this week. I'm sorry, nonexistent readers. When you're full-time in a job and half-time in higher ed, sometimes other things fall by the wayside for a while. But I'm back, have no fear.
Today's fail is short and whatever the opposite of sweet is. (Shitty?) Someone names a bunch of his/her friends, and follows it up with, "Need I say more?"
If I were to see that, I might think, "Ah, someone had a good part." But the jackass "friend" who comments says that more information is necessary, or all will assume it was a "gangbang," which is a lovely colloquialism for "a bunch of people raping other people."
Some will tell me I'm wrong. "No, ma'am, it means group sex!" Maybe that's your Urban Dictionary definition (I don't know; I refuse to expose myself to that guaranteed ticket to Vomitville), but get real. Group sex is referred to as an "orgy," or maybe a "sex party," if you're a little older. "Gangbang" is rapey. It's real, real rapey, and the fact that it was someone's first thought upon seeing a bunch of names together is just sick. Welcome to rape culture!
I know I've neglected this blog this week. I'm sorry, nonexistent readers. When you're full-time in a job and half-time in higher ed, sometimes other things fall by the wayside for a while. But I'm back, have no fear.
Today's fail is short and whatever the opposite of sweet is. (Shitty?) Someone names a bunch of his/her friends, and follows it up with, "Need I say more?"
If I were to see that, I might think, "Ah, someone had a good part." But the jackass "friend" who comments says that more information is necessary, or all will assume it was a "gangbang," which is a lovely colloquialism for "a bunch of people raping other people."
Some will tell me I'm wrong. "No, ma'am, it means group sex!" Maybe that's your Urban Dictionary definition (I don't know; I refuse to expose myself to that guaranteed ticket to Vomitville), but get real. Group sex is referred to as an "orgy," or maybe a "sex party," if you're a little older. "Gangbang" is rapey. It's real, real rapey, and the fact that it was someone's first thought upon seeing a bunch of names together is just sick. Welcome to rape culture!
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Creeper Alert
Today's Failbook fail: Boundaries.
A 21-year-old wants to date a 15-year-old.
For those who are fuzzy on ability to consent and rape, it's simple: if someone cannot consent to sexual congress, then any penetration is rape. Reasons someone might not be able to consent:
A 21-year-old wants to date a 15-year-old.
For those who are fuzzy on ability to consent and rape, it's simple: if someone cannot consent to sexual congress, then any penetration is rape. Reasons someone might not be able to consent:
- they person has been using drugs
- the person is not mentally able to consent (whether because of limited intellectual capacity or because of mental illness)
- the person is a goddamned child
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Lather, Rinse, Repeat
Today's Failbook fail: Russell's Mum.
Stop saying "frape."
Read this blog post if you are at all confused about my continued rage about this ridiculous portmanteau.
That is all.
Stop saying "frape."
Read this blog post if you are at all confused about my continued rage about this ridiculous portmanteau.
That is all.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
When Real Life Intrudes on "Humor"
Today's Failbook fail: Divorcée Frapes Are The Best Frapes.
QUIT SAYING "FRAPE," FAILBOOK. CUT IT THE FUCK OUT, I AM SO SERIOUS. JUST STOP, YOU VIOLENTLY MISOGYNIST DOUCHE-WHISTLES!!!!
Okay, had my small moment of pure rage, now we can move onto the rest of the fail.
A man hacks into his ex-wife's Facebook account. He does the following things as her (in chronological order):
Let's see what we've got here: slut shaming, of course. Naturally. But what really chills my blood is the husband friending himself -- which I imagine this woman did so that he could no longer monitor her -- and changing her status to married -- which I imagine this woman changed because she left the relationship.
This guy screams "abuser" to me. And he is, clearly, emotionally abusive; just look at what he wrote when he was posting as her. But more than any other fail I've commented on thus far, I wonder if this guy abused her (and/or their kids) physically as well, if he raped her, etc.
Oh, I'm not supposed to think about the actual circumstances of this post, right? I'm just supposed to laugh at the dumb bitch whose ex hacked her account. Let's see what the Failbook commenters have to say: "Awesome. Yes, her husband hacked her FB… but she sounds like a total idiot. lol" Yes, yes, there's that sweet ambrosia of human compassion.
Wait, this just in, from another commenter:
Wow, so, she's not a dumb bitch? Her reasons for leaving were complicated? Her cheating was a sign of a relationship gone horribly wrong? I'm shocked, I tell you, shocked.
QUIT SAYING "FRAPE," FAILBOOK. CUT IT THE FUCK OUT, I AM SO SERIOUS. JUST STOP, YOU VIOLENTLY MISOGYNIST DOUCHE-WHISTLES!!!!
Okay, had my small moment of pure rage, now we can move onto the rest of the fail.
A man hacks into his ex-wife's Facebook account. He does the following things as her (in chronological order):
- Posts a note detailing her cheating, and its alleged consequences.
- Posts a status saying how much more well-behaved the children are with her new boyfriend, because "they see how quick [she] was to leave [her] adoring husband" and they don't want to be "trade[d] in too."
- Changes her relationship status to "married."
- Comments on someone else's status that she feels like a "slut."
- Friending himself.
Let's see what we've got here: slut shaming, of course. Naturally. But what really chills my blood is the husband friending himself -- which I imagine this woman did so that he could no longer monitor her -- and changing her status to married -- which I imagine this woman changed because she left the relationship.
This guy screams "abuser" to me. And he is, clearly, emotionally abusive; just look at what he wrote when he was posting as her. But more than any other fail I've commented on thus far, I wonder if this guy abused her (and/or their kids) physically as well, if he raped her, etc.
Oh, I'm not supposed to think about the actual circumstances of this post, right? I'm just supposed to laugh at the dumb bitch whose ex hacked her account. Let's see what the Failbook commenters have to say: "Awesome. Yes, her husband hacked her FB… but she sounds like a total idiot. lol" Yes, yes, there's that sweet ambrosia of human compassion.
Wait, this just in, from another commenter:
he’s actually a huge lush. Someone on this blog let out the person’s full name and you can read the whole thing on facebook right now if you check out [redacted] on facebook.
He’s real pathetic. I feel pathetic just reading it.
Wow, so, she's not a dumb bitch? Her reasons for leaving were complicated? Her cheating was a sign of a relationship gone horribly wrong? I'm shocked, I tell you, shocked.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Happy Sociopath's Day!
Today's Failbook fail: Oh, Baby...
I don't know where to begin with this post. I truly don't.
There's slut shaming. There's a rape joke -- a joke about raping a baby, of course, since it comes in the middle of a series of dead-baby jokes, which is just hit after hit of pure horror.
I'm generally not against humor because it's shocking. I had a great love of South Park in its heyday, and I still like to go back and watch some of the classics. (When Cartman froze himself so he wouldn't have to wait for the Wii? Classic. And the whole point of those two eps is to make fun of atheists, i.e. my own identity, but I don't give a shit, because it's hilarious.)
But these jokes aren't . . . oh, what's the word . . . umm . . . oh, FUNNY. They're not fucking funny. Their shock value is through the roof, which may make some people laugh in a sort of startled way, but there's no actual humor there. It's just dudes being "dark" because, I don't know, they think they're special? They think they're just so amazing that they have this offbeat sense of humor?
If I had these guys in a room, honestly, I would force them to watch footage of starving babies in resource-poor countries, or compel them to volunteer in a NICU for a week. At least then I could tell if their sense of morality was just so fucked that they should be sent to their own little Island of Misfit Toys, or if the exposure to actual human suffering would break down their ridiculous, "edgy" personae.
I don't know where to begin with this post. I truly don't.
There's slut shaming. There's a rape joke -- a joke about raping a baby, of course, since it comes in the middle of a series of dead-baby jokes, which is just hit after hit of pure horror.
I'm generally not against humor because it's shocking. I had a great love of South Park in its heyday, and I still like to go back and watch some of the classics. (When Cartman froze himself so he wouldn't have to wait for the Wii? Classic. And the whole point of those two eps is to make fun of atheists, i.e. my own identity, but I don't give a shit, because it's hilarious.)
But these jokes aren't . . . oh, what's the word . . . umm . . . oh, FUNNY. They're not fucking funny. Their shock value is through the roof, which may make some people laugh in a sort of startled way, but there's no actual humor there. It's just dudes being "dark" because, I don't know, they think they're special? They think they're just so amazing that they have this offbeat sense of humor?
If I had these guys in a room, honestly, I would force them to watch footage of starving babies in resource-poor countries, or compel them to volunteer in a NICU for a week. At least then I could tell if their sense of morality was just so fucked that they should be sent to their own little Island of Misfit Toys, or if the exposure to actual human suffering would break down their ridiculous, "edgy" personae.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Believe It Or Not, the Horror Escalates
Today's Failbook fail: Her Police Report Will Be the Last Laugh Though.
Some jackass writes a status message about how much he loves girls' breasts. Other dudebros say, "Totally, brodude." A woman says she'd be surprised if any women let the OP near their breasts.
The OP's response? Ahem: "groped my stepsister in her sleep this morning, so it looks like the joke's on you. and her too, i guess."
Yes. That's the "joke."
To quote the fabulous flick Zoolander, I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. Is this really what you've stooped to, Failbook? I mean, you didn't have to stoop very far -- ahem, raping the homeless, but still -- a guy molests his stepsister IN HER SLEEP, and you feel that's a good thing to spread to the masses of jackasses who read your "humorous" posts.
Do you seriously, seriously not understand that by posting these things, you're legitimizing and normalizing them? One of my favorite comics did a strip about this concept: you think something is unspeakable -- like sexual assault, or incest -- but little by little you can inch towards thinking it's acceptable. Posts like this one on Failbook do exactly that. Congratulations, douchehounds.
Some jackass writes a status message about how much he loves girls' breasts. Other dudebros say, "Totally, brodude." A woman says she'd be surprised if any women let the OP near their breasts.
The OP's response? Ahem: "groped my stepsister in her sleep this morning, so it looks like the joke's on you. and her too, i guess."
Yes. That's the "joke."
To quote the fabulous flick Zoolander, I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. Is this really what you've stooped to, Failbook? I mean, you didn't have to stoop very far -- ahem, raping the homeless, but still -- a guy molests his stepsister IN HER SLEEP, and you feel that's a good thing to spread to the masses of jackasses who read your "humorous" posts.
Do you seriously, seriously not understand that by posting these things, you're legitimizing and normalizing them? One of my favorite comics did a strip about this concept: you think something is unspeakable -- like sexual assault, or incest -- but little by little you can inch towards thinking it's acceptable. Posts like this one on Failbook do exactly that. Congratulations, douchehounds.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
No God Would Allow This Post To Happen
Today's Failbook fail: I'd Like to Think It's "Jumanji."
Someone wonders in their status what name atheists call out in bed. (As an atheist with a sex life, let me answer this burning question once and for all. Many of us do still say "god" in that situation, as well as others: "God, it's freezing in here"; "Just shut the door, for god's sake!"; "Oh my god"; etc. It doesn't mean we secretly believe in a deity. It means we use that syllable as an exclamation because it's so common in the English-speaking world.)
Anyway, back to the fail. A jackass replies, "Mine." (Ha. Um. Ha ha. Yes, we all call your name, rando.) Then the original posters says, "I said Atheists. Not High Park Homeless."
Eesh, wow, that some serious classism right there, in that the OP is clearly trying to insult the commenter by insinuating s/he has sex with homeless people.
But the response from the commenter is breathtaking it its horror: "What's the difference? By the time I'm finished with them they don't believe in a loving god any more [sic] anyway."
WHAAAAAAAAT. First of all, first of all, this comment is the end of the post! Meaning that THIS is the "joke" that Failbook thinks is so damn funny that it deserves to be posted! THE FACT THAT THE COMMENTER IS JOKING ABOUT RAPING HOMELESS PEOPLE. THAT IS THE "JOKE." THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH DISDAINFUL QUOTATION MARKS IN THE WORLD TO PUT AROUND THE WORD "JOKE."
Secondly, let's revisit the fact that this person just straight-up said, "I rape homeless people!" If you truly believe that this is not what this "joke" is about, you are deluded beyond my ability to yell the truth into your ear. This is the commenter's idea of a one-up. The OP insulted him/her by saying, "You have sex with homeless people." The commenter one-ups the OP by saying, "You mean I rape homeless people."
For some reason, although if the actual messages made up the post, it would rightfully be seen as horrifying, veiled statements that convey the exact same message are . . . hilarious? Supposedly? To their (small) credit, the commenters on the Failbook post seem just as mystified as I am. When even the rape-loving commenters at Failbook think you've gone off the rails, you've gone off the fucking rails, Failbook.
Someone wonders in their status what name atheists call out in bed. (As an atheist with a sex life, let me answer this burning question once and for all. Many of us do still say "god" in that situation, as well as others: "God, it's freezing in here"; "Just shut the door, for god's sake!"; "Oh my god"; etc. It doesn't mean we secretly believe in a deity. It means we use that syllable as an exclamation because it's so common in the English-speaking world.)
Anyway, back to the fail. A jackass replies, "Mine." (Ha. Um. Ha ha. Yes, we all call your name, rando.) Then the original posters says, "I said Atheists. Not High Park Homeless."
Eesh, wow, that some serious classism right there, in that the OP is clearly trying to insult the commenter by insinuating s/he has sex with homeless people.
But the response from the commenter is breathtaking it its horror: "What's the difference? By the time I'm finished with them they don't believe in a loving god any more [sic] anyway."
WHAAAAAAAAT. First of all, first of all, this comment is the end of the post! Meaning that THIS is the "joke" that Failbook thinks is so damn funny that it deserves to be posted! THE FACT THAT THE COMMENTER IS JOKING ABOUT RAPING HOMELESS PEOPLE. THAT IS THE "JOKE." THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH DISDAINFUL QUOTATION MARKS IN THE WORLD TO PUT AROUND THE WORD "JOKE."
Secondly, let's revisit the fact that this person just straight-up said, "I rape homeless people!" If you truly believe that this is not what this "joke" is about, you are deluded beyond my ability to yell the truth into your ear. This is the commenter's idea of a one-up. The OP insulted him/her by saying, "You have sex with homeless people." The commenter one-ups the OP by saying, "You mean I rape homeless people."
For some reason, although if the actual messages made up the post, it would rightfully be seen as horrifying, veiled statements that convey the exact same message are . . . hilarious? Supposedly? To their (small) credit, the commenters on the Failbook post seem just as mystified as I am. When even the rape-loving commenters at Failbook think you've gone off the rails, you've gone off the fucking rails, Failbook.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
uAreABigot
Today's Failbook fail: iAmanidiot.
Some sucker leaves his Facebook logged in at an Apple store. Some jackass takes the opportunity to post a status message.
Well, okay, maybe you or I would do the same thing. But would you say "Im [sic] a little gay boy" and "I just got fraped"? No, no you would not. First, if you're reading this, there's a good chance that you don't believe calling someone "gay" is an insult. Second, you probably also would never use the word "frape," because it is a ridiculous insult to rape victims.
In a stunning turn of events, I'm not by myself on this one. Someone in Failbook's comments section brings up their discomfort with the homophobic slur. The response? I shit you not: it is, in full, "Because most ppl aren’t little f@gz like you. get off the internet if you don’t like ppl making fun of that scum". Delightful. Hope you enjoy the culture you're encouraging, Failbook! (Are there really no gay employees there? No women, either? No rape victims?)
Here are some alternate pranks, given that you hate neither gay people nor rape victims:
Some sucker leaves his Facebook logged in at an Apple store. Some jackass takes the opportunity to post a status message.
Well, okay, maybe you or I would do the same thing. But would you say "Im [sic] a little gay boy" and "I just got fraped"? No, no you would not. First, if you're reading this, there's a good chance that you don't believe calling someone "gay" is an insult. Second, you probably also would never use the word "frape," because it is a ridiculous insult to rape victims.
In a stunning turn of events, I'm not by myself on this one. Someone in Failbook's comments section brings up their discomfort with the homophobic slur. The response? I shit you not: it is, in full, "Because most ppl aren’t little f@gz like you. get off the internet if you don’t like ppl making fun of that scum". Delightful. Hope you enjoy the culture you're encouraging, Failbook! (Are there really no gay employees there? No women, either? No rape victims?)
Here are some alternate pranks, given that you hate neither gay people nor rape victims:
- Post the status, "Please taunt me for leaving myself signed in at the Apple Store. 'Like' this if you want to teach me a lesson!"
- Change the sucker's favorite bands to Nickelback, Creed, and Staind.
- Fill in "Steve Jobs worshiper" in the sucker's "Religion" field.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Failbear
Today's Failbook fail: Keep Your Friends Close...
Our fail on this lovely Saturday evening involves "Pedobear," the pedophile bear invented by a group of dudes who spend too much time on web bulletin boards.
The joke is that someone using the Pedobear avatar has "liked" the Maryland AMBER Alert Program. So, some jackass who treats the rape of children as a joke is also trivializing police efforts to save kids who have been abducted.
You're right, Failbook. That is hilarious. I'm going to laugh for a long time, after the bleakness of the whole idea of someone inventing a cartoon pedophile bear dissipates. Should only be, oh, ten, twelve years, tops.
Our fail on this lovely Saturday evening involves "Pedobear," the pedophile bear invented by a group of dudes who spend too much time on web bulletin boards.
The joke is that someone using the Pedobear avatar has "liked" the Maryland AMBER Alert Program. So, some jackass who treats the rape of children as a joke is also trivializing police efforts to save kids who have been abducted.
You're right, Failbook. That is hilarious. I'm going to laugh for a long time, after the bleakness of the whole idea of someone inventing a cartoon pedophile bear dissipates. Should only be, oh, ten, twelve years, tops.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Meta-Fail
Today's Failbook fail: Gay Frape is Super Effective!
Don't click through. There's no need. The comments are actually surprisingly accepting and loving of gay people.
No, it's Failbook's choice of wording that I'm calling into serious question. Failbook has adopted the portmanteau "frape" (Facebook + rape) to mean "someone hacking into or otherwise illegitimately using another person's Facebook account" (see the Urban Dictionary definitions as well).
I have actually contacted Failbook about this, because I think it is beyond the pale. If I were to ask any decent human being, "Hey, do you think it's all right to trivialize rape by comparing it to someone hacking your Facebook account?", I feel confident they would say no. If you need Dane Cook to explain to you why this is wrong (Dane Cook! of all people!), go watch at YouTube.
Don't click through. There's no need. The comments are actually surprisingly accepting and loving of gay people.
No, it's Failbook's choice of wording that I'm calling into serious question. Failbook has adopted the portmanteau "frape" (Facebook + rape) to mean "someone hacking into or otherwise illegitimately using another person's Facebook account" (see the Urban Dictionary definitions as well).
I have actually contacted Failbook about this, because I think it is beyond the pale. If I were to ask any decent human being, "Hey, do you think it's all right to trivialize rape by comparing it to someone hacking your Facebook account?", I feel confident they would say no. If you need Dane Cook to explain to you why this is wrong (Dane Cook! of all people!), go watch at YouTube.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Putting the "Christ, Seriously??" in Christmas
Today's Failbook fail: Getting Out of a Ticket.
Man: And that my friends is how you talk your way out of being towed and getting a parking ticket
Man #2: How did the cock taste
In case you were unaware, there are thousands, if not millions, of human beings who have been forced to perform oral sex by an authority figure in a uniform. Just look at the soldiers currently using rape as a weapon of war in the Congo.
You'll forgive me if I neglect to laugh at the flippant suggestion that one of the most horrible things that can happen to a person has happened to the commenter's "friend."
Merry fucking Christmas.
Man: And that my friends is how you talk your way out of being towed and getting a parking ticket
Man #2: How did the cock taste
In case you were unaware, there are thousands, if not millions, of human beings who have been forced to perform oral sex by an authority figure in a uniform. Just look at the soldiers currently using rape as a weapon of war in the Congo.
You'll forgive me if I neglect to laugh at the flippant suggestion that one of the most horrible things that can happen to a person has happened to the commenter's "friend."
Merry fucking Christmas.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
I Mean, BLOW JOBS, Amirite?!!?
Today's Failbook fail: This Job Blows.
A guy says he got a job. His "friends" say it must be performing blow jobs on a certain man. Failbook thinks this is so funny that they include it among other Facebook exchanges that have actual humor in them.
Yeah, I've got nothing. There are some people in the world who think that men performing blow jobs on other men is TEH FUNNIEST THING EVAR. I have nothing to say to those people.
A guy says he got a job. His "friends" say it must be performing blow jobs on a certain man. Failbook thinks this is so funny that they include it among other Facebook exchanges that have actual humor in them.
Yeah, I've got nothing. There are some people in the world who think that men performing blow jobs on other men is TEH FUNNIEST THING EVAR. I have nothing to say to those people.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Worst. Portmanteau. Ever.
Today's Failbook fail: Frape: The Aftermath.
A person sets the record straight about their vital statistics (e.g. religion, marital status) after his/her sister "fucked with [their] Facebook." People laugh, myself included -- that is, until I see what Failbook chose to call the post.
"Frape." It's their brilliant little portmanteau of "Facebook" and "rape." Because someone hacking your Facebook account is so similar to someone holding you down and using your body against your will. Because referring to rape so casually could never hurt rape survivors or the people who love them. And most of all, because no rapists could ever get the notion that this society doesn't actually give a flying fuck about rape, if we're willing to throw the word around so casually.
I don't get the feeling that Failbook is ever going to stop posting racist, sexist, transphobic, homophobic shit on their website. But you know, they could kick their class factor up exactly one notch if they didn't introduce rape into posts where it wasn't even mentioned by the people being quoted.
A person sets the record straight about their vital statistics (e.g. religion, marital status) after his/her sister "fucked with [their] Facebook." People laugh, myself included -- that is, until I see what Failbook chose to call the post.
"Frape." It's their brilliant little portmanteau of "Facebook" and "rape." Because someone hacking your Facebook account is so similar to someone holding you down and using your body against your will. Because referring to rape so casually could never hurt rape survivors or the people who love them. And most of all, because no rapists could ever get the notion that this society doesn't actually give a flying fuck about rape, if we're willing to throw the word around so casually.
I don't get the feeling that Failbook is ever going to stop posting racist, sexist, transphobic, homophobic shit on their website. But you know, they could kick their class factor up exactly one notch if they didn't introduce rape into posts where it wasn't even mentioned by the people being quoted.
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