Today's Failbook fail: Untitled.
I know I've neglected this blog this week. I'm sorry, nonexistent readers. When you're full-time in a job and half-time in higher ed, sometimes other things fall by the wayside for a while. But I'm back, have no fear.
Today's fail is short and whatever the opposite of sweet is. (Shitty?) Someone names a bunch of his/her friends, and follows it up with, "Need I say more?"
If I were to see that, I might think, "Ah, someone had a good part." But the jackass "friend" who comments says that more information is necessary, or all will assume it was a "gangbang," which is a lovely colloquialism for "a bunch of people raping other people."
Some will tell me I'm wrong. "No, ma'am, it means group sex!" Maybe that's your Urban Dictionary definition (I don't know; I refuse to expose myself to that guaranteed ticket to Vomitville), but get real. Group sex is referred to as an "orgy," or maybe a "sex party," if you're a little older. "Gangbang" is rapey. It's real, real rapey, and the fact that it was someone's first thought upon seeing a bunch of names together is just sick. Welcome to rape culture!
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Sunday, March 13, 2011
OMG There Are Fat People on the Internet!!
Today's Failbook fail: I'm Sure It Happens All the Time...
You know what the world needs more of? Hatred of fat people. Especially fat women. How dare they walk around with their fat, even post pictures of their fat online?!!? THE INTERNET IS FOR SKINNY PEOPLE, YOU FATTIE FAT FATSO!
And this girl has the temerity to say that people mistake her for Megan Fox! I mean, her face is blurred out of this post, so maybe there is a facial resemblance, but my stars, if you are fat you by definition cannot resemble anyone attractive!
The really sad thing is, this girl seems cool. She seems fun and funny -- I love her Simpsons shrt -- and by condemning her with no more than her own photos and one-line status update, I feel like Failbook just throws her into the garbage can without so much as a "buh-bye." Like, she's fat, so she's beneath even their assholish commentary. Oh, well, there is the title, as well as the hashtags: "facepalm," "image," and "really?"
The comments are a mix. There are some people saying, rightfully, "Don’t resort to making fun of somebody who made a self-deprecating joke and isn’t considered pretty because she’s heavy." And then there are people who are saying to man the harpoons, and furthermore, "I say we enact hunting to get the population under control." If that sounds eliminationist to you, it's because it fucking is.
Heads up, all: fat people have a right to exist. They are not a different species as thin people are. They have a right to be in the same spaces as you, whether that's Facebook, public transportation, a restaurant, or your workplace. Moreover, fat women can be pretty. Fat men can be hot. Stop acting like all these ideas are so friggin' radical. They're not. They're simple courtesy and recognition of reality.
You know what the world needs more of? Hatred of fat people. Especially fat women. How dare they walk around with their fat, even post pictures of their fat online?!!? THE INTERNET IS FOR SKINNY PEOPLE, YOU FATTIE FAT FATSO!
And this girl has the temerity to say that people mistake her for Megan Fox! I mean, her face is blurred out of this post, so maybe there is a facial resemblance, but my stars, if you are fat you by definition cannot resemble anyone attractive!
The really sad thing is, this girl seems cool. She seems fun and funny -- I love her Simpsons shrt -- and by condemning her with no more than her own photos and one-line status update, I feel like Failbook just throws her into the garbage can without so much as a "buh-bye." Like, she's fat, so she's beneath even their assholish commentary. Oh, well, there is the title, as well as the hashtags: "facepalm," "image," and "really?"
The comments are a mix. There are some people saying, rightfully, "Don’t resort to making fun of somebody who made a self-deprecating joke and isn’t considered pretty because she’s heavy." And then there are people who are saying to man the harpoons, and furthermore, "I say we enact hunting to get the population under control." If that sounds eliminationist to you, it's because it fucking is.
Heads up, all: fat people have a right to exist. They are not a different species as thin people are. They have a right to be in the same spaces as you, whether that's Facebook, public transportation, a restaurant, or your workplace. Moreover, fat women can be pretty. Fat men can be hot. Stop acting like all these ideas are so friggin' radical. They're not. They're simple courtesy and recognition of reality.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Win!
Had to do a win today, because it's such a perfect response to some random bashing of Hillary Clinton -- who, it must be stated, is awesome. There are probably some fail-y Failbook posts today, but this one wins more than any of them fail.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Thelma and Louise Notwithstanding
Today's Failbook fail: Bad Example.
Some jackass makes fun of women drivers. Someone (a woman, probably) reminds him that he is himself a shitty driver.
But she does it too nicely, frankly, with a little winky face and all that shit. Next time someone pulls this shit on you, say calmly, "Have you ever thought about why men's car insurance rates are higher than women's? It's because actuaries have crunched years' worth of data and determined that men are costlier to insure. Meaning, men are bigger insurance risks than women. Meaning, women are the better drivers."
I usually don't pull this actually-the-data-say-otherwise shit out unless people espouse something that's just completely the opposite of the truth. Like when assholes spout off about gay people turning their kids gay or abusing them or whatever. Actually, it's the opposite! Gays make better parents! Shut the fuck up!
Some jackass makes fun of women drivers. Someone (a woman, probably) reminds him that he is himself a shitty driver.
But she does it too nicely, frankly, with a little winky face and all that shit. Next time someone pulls this shit on you, say calmly, "Have you ever thought about why men's car insurance rates are higher than women's? It's because actuaries have crunched years' worth of data and determined that men are costlier to insure. Meaning, men are bigger insurance risks than women. Meaning, women are the better drivers."
I usually don't pull this actually-the-data-say-otherwise shit out unless people espouse something that's just completely the opposite of the truth. Like when assholes spout off about gay people turning their kids gay or abusing them or whatever. Actually, it's the opposite! Gays make better parents! Shut the fuck up!
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Not Even Close
Today's Failbook fail: China = Japan.
Look, if you can't tell by looking at a Southeast Asian person which country their ancestors are from, you are not alone. And no one would fault you for not knowing.
But the damn video here is titled with the word "Chinese," and then the idiotic OP starts spouting off about Pearl Harbor. Jesus Christ Almighty. It just showcases your ignorance, pal. You really don't differentiate between those countries at all.
Also, I just have to say . . . the actual video is an ad for a torture device for women that will squeeze them in precisely the right excruciating way to give them video-game-woman-style cleavage. I'm calling sexism on this one for not even acknowledging that this ad is for something ridiculously awful for women.
Look, if you can't tell by looking at a Southeast Asian person which country their ancestors are from, you are not alone. And no one would fault you for not knowing.
But the damn video here is titled with the word "Chinese," and then the idiotic OP starts spouting off about Pearl Harbor. Jesus Christ Almighty. It just showcases your ignorance, pal. You really don't differentiate between those countries at all.
Also, I just have to say . . . the actual video is an ad for a torture device for women that will squeeze them in precisely the right excruciating way to give them video-game-woman-style cleavage. I'm calling sexism on this one for not even acknowledging that this ad is for something ridiculously awful for women.
Monday, March 7, 2011
The International Language of Idiots
Today's Failbook fail: English Please.
A non-white person says things in a language that is not English. An American guy, who by the looks of his blurred-out picture is probably white, demands the person speak only English. The OP tells him to shut up, and the American cracks wise.
Sweet sparkly vampires, does anyone really wonder where the stereotype of an "ugly American" comes from!?!? Dear all Americans: THE INTERNET IS NOT SOLELY AMERICAN. FACEBOOK, TOO, IS INTERNATIONAL. There will be people speaking in languages you don't speak! A person's Facebook status is not a road sign in Wichita! You have no right to see it in English! Just! Shut! Up!
A non-white person says things in a language that is not English. An American guy, who by the looks of his blurred-out picture is probably white, demands the person speak only English. The OP tells him to shut up, and the American cracks wise.
Sweet sparkly vampires, does anyone really wonder where the stereotype of an "ugly American" comes from!?!? Dear all Americans: THE INTERNET IS NOT SOLELY AMERICAN. FACEBOOK, TOO, IS INTERNATIONAL. There will be people speaking in languages you don't speak! A person's Facebook status is not a road sign in Wichita! You have no right to see it in English! Just! Shut! Up!
Friday, March 4, 2011
Also, You're a Creeper.
Today's Failbook fail: Step 1: Befriend Several Randon [sic] LaShondas. Step 2: ...
So . . . why "LaShonda"? Why not Erica, Stacey, Michelle, Alicia, Samea, Padma, Sunee, Miharu, Marjane, Maria, Dulcinea, Claudette, Agda, or any of a million other girls' names?
Could it be because "LaShonda" is a name associated almost exclusively with African-Americans, and you specifically want to target them in your nasty little prank?
Just sayin'.
So . . . why "LaShonda"? Why not Erica, Stacey, Michelle, Alicia, Samea, Padma, Sunee, Miharu, Marjane, Maria, Dulcinea, Claudette, Agda, or any of a million other girls' names?
Could it be because "LaShonda" is a name associated almost exclusively with African-Americans, and you specifically want to target them in your nasty little prank?
Just sayin'.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Just STFU About Bieber, Mmkay?
Today's Failbook fail: An Unfortunate Typo.
Let me just vomit up some words about Justin Bieber, a man whom I have never met: BLARGH GAY HOMOQUEER GIRLY-GIRL FAG FUDGEPACKER GAY GAY LESBO COCKSUCKER FAGGY PRINCESS GAY WOMAN BLARGH.
There, now you have an accurate rendition of every single motherfucking Failbook entry that mentions Justin Bieber.
Let me just vomit up some words about Justin Bieber, a man whom I have never met: BLARGH GAY HOMOQUEER GIRLY-GIRL FAG FUDGEPACKER GAY GAY LESBO COCKSUCKER FAGGY PRINCESS GAY WOMAN BLARGH.
There, now you have an accurate rendition of every single motherfucking Failbook entry that mentions Justin Bieber.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Creeper Alert
Today's Failbook fail: Boundaries.
A 21-year-old wants to date a 15-year-old.
For those who are fuzzy on ability to consent and rape, it's simple: if someone cannot consent to sexual congress, then any penetration is rape. Reasons someone might not be able to consent:
A 21-year-old wants to date a 15-year-old.
For those who are fuzzy on ability to consent and rape, it's simple: if someone cannot consent to sexual congress, then any penetration is rape. Reasons someone might not be able to consent:
- they person has been using drugs
- the person is not mentally able to consent (whether because of limited intellectual capacity or because of mental illness)
- the person is a goddamned child
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Lather, Rinse, Repeat
Today's Failbook fail: Russell's Mum.
Stop saying "frape."
Read this blog post if you are at all confused about my continued rage about this ridiculous portmanteau.
That is all.
Stop saying "frape."
Read this blog post if you are at all confused about my continued rage about this ridiculous portmanteau.
That is all.
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